I couldn't if I tried
by whitetiger91
Summary: The Yule Ball is nigh and the fourth-year girls of Slytherin are jumping in excitement. None, however, are more excited than Millicent Bulstrode - plain, largely-built, boring Millicent Bulstrode. Why? Because she knows that, with a little concentration and effort, she can transform herself into the belle of the ball. Written for Round 11 of the Quidditch League.


**I Couldn't if I Tried**

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"

Millicent jumped and clutched at her arm as Pansy entered the dormitory. The brunette's triumphant shrieks had caused Millicent's cat, Midnight, to shred her skin with his sharp claws. Pansy, however, didn't seem to notice or care as she began to twirl around the room and bounce on her feet.

"I have an announcement! I'm going to the ball with Draco Malfoy!" she sang.

"Only because you asked him." Tracey trailed in behind Pansy, rolling her blue eyes.

Millicent watched as Pansy twirled around, her own chocolate-coloured eyes blazing as they narrowed at Tracey.

Placing her hands on her hips, Pansy snapped at the girl, "Well, it doesn't matter, does it? I know he was going to ask me anyway. Just because you're still waiting for Blaise to ask you, doesn't mean you need to be so jealous of me."

"Right Pansy, whatever you say. I must be so jealous of the way you have to constantly put on Bubotuber pus on your lips to make them look bigger," Tracey retorted.

Millicent giggled as she watched the two girls bicker. She knew that Pansy hated that she had inherited her mother's thin lips.

Unfortunately, her amusement attracted Pansy's attention.

"I don't know why you're so happy, Milly, I haven't seen anyone asking you to the ball. In fact, I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you," Pansy said, a smirk playing on her lips.

Millicent felt her cheeks burn and ducked her head. Focusing on a faded patch of her forest-green bedspread, she busied herself trying to pluck off stray pieces of black fur that had stubbornly stuck to the material. Pansy was right; no boy had asked her out, and they probably wouldn't – not when she had smaller, prettier girls like Pansy and Tracey to compete with.

"I don't know… there might be one boy who would be good for Milly," Tracey began, thinking carefully.

Millicent's head snapped up and she looked at Tracey hopefully. Tucking a smooth strand of raven hair behind her ear, she tried to think of who Tracey could possibly be referring to. Was someone going to ask her out? Who was it?

Blinking slowly, Millicent felt her lips twitch upwards and her heart pound with excitement as she went through the possibilities. Was it Draco Malfoy? No, it couldn't be. Pansy was going with him. Blaise Zabini? She hadn't spoken too much to him, but what did that matter? Her mother was an acquaintance of Gisella Zabini, so technically, that meant that they were friends, right? Was that the reason he hadn't yet asked Tracey to the ball, because he was waiting to ask her?

Blushing, this time from the prospect of having a dreamy date, Millicent almost missed Tracey's continued musings, so lost was she in her own thoughts of, for once, not being the one left out because of her looks.

"She could probably go with Vincent," Tracey continued, looking at Millicent with her head tilted.

"Oh yeah, there's always Vincent," Pansy agreed, not bothering to stifle her giggles. "They'll be perfect for each other."

Millicent's face dropped as she looked from one girl's face to the other. Both were grinning at her. Tracey had a glint in her eyes whilst Pansy was scrutinising her, eyes narrowed as usual though her lips were pulled into a smile. Millicent shifted uncomfortably on her bed and swallowed thickly. Looking back to her bedspread, she tried to form the words that seemed to be stuck in her throat.

"I- I don't want to- to go with Vincent," Millicent said quietly.

Immediately, as Millicent feared she would, Pansy challenged her. "Why ever not?" she demanded.

Millicent couldn't look up. If she didn't avoid Pansy's stare, then she would never be able to say what she needed. Still trying to work around the lump in her throat, she took a deep breath and mumbled towards her sheet.

"Because I don't like him. He's… big, and ugly and… stupid. Really stupid. He's not like- like… other boys," Millicent finished lamely. She dared a peak up through her thick lashes, trying to ascertain Pansy's reaction.

Pansy was now tapping her foot as her brows furrowed. Snorting, she shook her head slowly as her eyes trailed up and down Millicent's body.

"So? You'd make the perfect couple," Pansy laughed again, before being nudged by Tracey's elbow. Sighing, Pansy surveyed Millicent's figure again and softened her face. "Trust me, Milly, it'll do you good for a change to have a bloke. You know you're not exactly the, uh, well, not like us," Pansy indicated herself and Tracey, "Besides, Vincent is a Slytherin and has a good family; it couldn't be all that bad."

Millicent's blush had now reached the top of her ears but she stubbornly shook her head. Slytherin or not, she had nothing in common with Vincent. Sure, they were no Ravenclaws in terms of brain power, nor were they often considered as beautiful as Veela. Nevertheless, Vincent Crabbe was nothing more than the adopted spawn of a troll and she could not understand why people insisted on placing them together.

At least Tracey hadn't suggested Gregory Goyle.

With slumped shoulders, Millicent settled further onto her bed. Midnight had long since abandoned her for the relative safety of the common room – even her cat could not stand to be near her now. Perhaps Pansy was right; she wasn't like them.

Pansy let out another exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. "Suit yourself," she stated, before her face was once again lit up with a grin. Flouncing off towards her pink and silver trunk, she bent down and pulled it out. Flipping open the locks, the brunette revealed several glossy magazines, including the latest copy of 'Teen Witch'.

Tracey gave Millicent a small smile before striding quickly over to Pansy and taking out a magazine for herself. The two girls soon began to gush over the articles, talking in between squeals about dresses, hair styles and shoe height. Millicent knew the words they were speaking were English, yet as it often did, it sounded to her like a different language.

"It's great that Draco is taller than me so I can wear pumps. I can't wait to see the way he admires my long legs," Pansy sighed, giving a small twirl.

As she did so, Millicent was suddenly struck with an idea. If boys liked girls like Pansy, than maybe she could try to be more like them. Pansy and Tracey seemed to know a lot about these things; perhaps it would be wise of her to observe them carefully and learn from them.

Millicent sat up straighter, intent on listening to the girls' gossip. A grin found its way to her face once more and already, her heart began to feel lighter. All hope was not lost; she could do it if she tried.

* * *

The next couple of weeks seemed to pass by in a blur for Millicent. There did not seem to be enough time for her to concentrate on all the overwhelming details about female grooming rituals, let alone avoiding failing her classes. Nevertheless, sacrifices had had to be made, and though a few detentions had cut into her preparation time, Millicent was proud of what she had managed to pick up in such a short amount of time.

Now, as her roommates adding the final touches to their outfits and chattered away excitedly, Millicent felt she was ready. Her heart was thudding in her chest and her palms were a little sweaty, but she hastily wiped them against her uniform.

"Erm, you're not wearing that, are you, Milly?" Daphne asked as she turned around and placed a dazzling diamond earring into one ear.

Hearing this, Pansy cut in. "Hurry up! We're about to leave!"

Millicent shook her head quickly. "You go ahead. I'll be there soon."

Pansy narrowed her eyes at her skeptically, but did not argue. Nudging for the other girls to follow, she lifted her frilly pink skirts and bustled towards the door. Before Millicent could sigh in relief that she would finally be alone, however, Pansy turned around. Raising delicate eyebrows, she looked from Millicent to Midnight, who was sitting on Millicent's lap.

"Don't be too late," Pansy reminded her.

Millicent nodded quickly as the group left the dormitory. She waited until she could hear the tell-tale opening and closing of the portrait door, before she sprung to her feet – Midnight jumping to the floor, hissing – and ran to lock the door. She then hurried back towards her bed and bent down. Heaving slightly, she pulled out a large, brown trunk full of the supplies she had managed to 'borrow' over the last two weeks.

Millicent reached for a bottle of foundation and began to smooth it onto her face. Having come from another student, the liquid was a little dark compared to her pale complexion. Nevertheless, she slathered it on, making sure to cover the only blemish that had not escaped her vanishing potions.

There, perfect.

Moving on, Millicent smiled into the mirror sitting atop her trunk lid. Being one of the only forms of makeup she had seen her mother apply when she was little, Millicent knew it was important to reveal her cheek bones when using blusher. It didn't seem to make much difference as she shakily held the brush to her face, not sure where to start. But, figuring she couldn't go wrong, she began rubbing the powder up and down the sides of her face.

Unfortunately, time appeared to be moving faster than she had expected; it was already past eight. Dabbing at the sweat forming on her forehead, her hand trembling a little more, she began to work a little faster. Her blue eye shadow was swept on her lids quickly, and her mascara was haphazardly applied to her lashes, giving her a watery eye when her hand slipped.

With her hair quickly whipped up into a bun and embellished with a sparkly, crystal clip, Millicent wiggled into her bright blue dress robes. The robes she had ordered were a little snug over her bust and upper thighs, yet as the magazines had encouraged, was just short enough to get the boys' imaginations running wild. Working her feet into a pair of tall heels that had come with her dress robes, Millicent hesitantly stood up and examined herself in Pansy's larger, floor length mirror.

She wasn't quite the beauty she had expected to be, but Millicent was convinced she looked just as good as Pansy and the other girls had when they had left. Giving a twirl and trying not to stumble, she felt her heart flutter. She was ready.

Getting to the Great Hall proved a little difficult, with her dress robes restricting her movement and her heels threatening to twist and take her into the path of the many suits of armour that lined the corridors. When she finally did reach it, she was panting heavily. Little beads of sweat glistened on her exposed skin, despite the slight winter breeze filtering throughout the castle. Wiping the moisture away, Millicent allowed herself a few minutes to breathe. Adjusting her hair-clip and holding her head high, she took a final deep breath and entered the Great Hall.

The atmosphere inside was incredible. The four main tables had vanished and in their places sat several, smaller circular tables draped in crisp, white linen. Above them, the enchanted ceiling was awash in starlight, the smooth, dark canvas of night covered in glimmering constellations. Loud music echoed throughout the hall, vibrating the floor beneath her feet, its beating rhythm a perfect parallel to the thumping of her heart.

Millicent scanned the ground for her friends over the sea of bobbing heads. She could see some students turning their heads towards her. Striding forward, head still held high, Millicent smiled. She had never had so many sets of eyes turn towards her; at least not since she had sat on the small wooden stool to be sorted four years earlier.

Spotting Pansy, Draco and the rest of her Slytherin group standing near one of the tables, Millicent's smile grew even wider. Her pulse quickened and she hurriedly walked towards them, confident now that her makeover was a success.

"Hi," Millicent whispered when she finally reached them. Then, seeing Draco turn at her voice, said a little louder, "hi Draco."

"Evening," Draco replied, a smile on his face.

Millicent blushed as Draco turned to Vincent and Gregory, his smile growing wider and pink staining his cheeks. She saw him whisper something to the boys and soon they too were looking at her and smiling.

What was even more satisfactory, however, was that Pansy could only open and close her mouth in response. Her eyebrows were raised and as a slower song began to play, she dragged Draco away to the floor, narrowing her eyes at Millicent. Her heart was now a beating drum, flooding her with excitement, and her confidence swelled.

No one had ever been jealous of her before. Ever.

Couples around the room who were not already twisting and turning to the music began to follow Pansy's lead and glided to the floor. Millicent smiled as boys passed her, nodding at the cuter looking specimens. The boys smiled back at her, turning to their friends and whispering. One boy in particular smirked and winked at her, blowing her a kiss and nudging his friend as they passed. None, however, asked her to dance, but she figured they might even be a little intimidated by her.

Deciding it was probably best to wait a few songs, Millicent backed closer to the wall. She stood silently watching as her friends enjoyed themselves. Both Vincent and Gregory stood nearby, arms folded and looking more like gargoyle statues than ever in their matching grey dress robes. Neither of them so much as grunted at her. Millicent was fine with that – for the first few songs.

Song after song played; some faster, some slower. Millicent soon found her eyes drifting towards Vincent as he yawned widely. Her feet were no longer tapping to the music but were tapping in impatience instead. She wanted to be dancing like everyone else. Finding her eyes sliding towards Vincent once more, she found that she wouldn't say no if he asked her to dance.

Millicent sidled closer to Vincent. Her actions attracted his attention and she smiled hopefully. She held out her hand. He stared at it for a minute, eyebrows raised. Millicent sighed and waved her hand around. Vincent's eyebrows rose further into his hairline, before something clicked and he gulped.

What was his problem? No, what was her problem? Shaking some sense into herself, Millicent shot him a glare and stomped towards the dance floor. She didn't need him to have a good time. Millicent pushed her way towards where Pansy and Draco appeared to be arguing. A fast song had begun to pump through the crowd and bodies were pressed together. Grinning at them and feeling her heart lighten once more – _were they arguing over her?_ – Millicent began to move her body along to the beat.

She threw her hands into the air and her hips thrust side to side. She found it very natural to move along, and bobbed her head up and down. Sweat soon reformed on her skin and her feet began to throb, but it didn't matter. She could feel her hair coming loose from its grip, but it didn't matter.

"What are you doing?"

Millicent bounced around to face Pansy, who had tapped her shoulder. The music was still blasting from the band on stage, so she leant in so she could hear better.

"What?"

"I said, what are you doing?" Pansy hissed, scowling at her.

She tilted her head to the side, confused, still waving her arms. Then, seeing that Draco wasn't by Pansy's side, she felt the urge to scream in delight. Thankfully, her mother had managed to instil in her some basic methods of etiquette in her youth, and she was able to restrain herself. Had they had another argument?

Millicent shrugged and replied simply, "Dancing."

Pansy's eyes looked as though a storm was raging within them as she placed her hands on her hips. It made Millicent feel all the more giddier, and she had to resist looking towards Draco. Suppressing a giggle, she turned back around and continued to dance.

Pansy reached for her shoulder and spun her back around. Reaching up and whispering murmuring into her ear, she continued, "Stop embarrassing yourself." Then, Pansy jerked her head towards the students dancing around them.

Millicent followed her gaze. Students everywhere were watching her, pointing and laughing. Their words weren't decipherable, but their looks of pleasure were. They weren't admiring her, as she had thought; they were mocking her.

"Go sit down." Pansy pointed towards their reserved table, ordering Millicent to leave.

Nodding slowly, smile still on her face, Millicent stopped dancing as the song came to a close. Mercifully, the beginnings of a slower waltz was playing, and she used it to escape out of the crowd, whose jeers now resembled nothing like the jealous smirks she had imagined.

Vincent and Gregory had disappeared from the wall, lost somewhere in the crowd. Millicent was even more thankful for that fact, and graciously sat down at the empty table. Her cheeks and lips seemed to be frozen into position, because they did not match the sudden empty feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her eyes were heavy and the corners had begun to sting, and she was forced to blink continuously to keep the tears from spilling. Determined, however, not to let her disappointment show, she focused her gaze at the couples still dancing; in particular, at Pansy and Draco as they took to each other once more.

Slowly pulling out the clip in her hair and placing it down onto the table, Millicent felt the strain of hope she had nurtured for the past few weeks shatter.

She couldn't be like Pansy or the other girls if she tried.

* * *

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognise, including the characters. All belongs to the amazing J K Rowling._**

 ** _A/N: Here is my entry for Round 11 of the Quidditch League FF Competition, Chaser 1. Apart from the usual three prompts I needed to choose, this round was about classic songs of the last few decades. Our team was given 'Don't go breaking my heart' by Elton John and Kiki Dee (not a personal favourite song, but did have good lines to use as prompts...) and my specific line to base this fic around was 'I couldn't if I tried.'_**

 ** _As with the last round, this fic gave me a lot of trouble. I have severe writer's block, and apart from the new stress of moving (for the first time in my life) work, I was unable to get the words I wanted out, let alone inspiration despite the openness of this task. On that note, I'd like to give a huge shout-out to Shane (Nightmare Prince) for beta'ing this and for his amazing help with wording :D Thanks!_**

 ** _I wrote this fic because a) I wanted the challenge of writing a lesser-known character, b) my Lupin running away from his werewolf-ness version was unoriginal and going nowhere (though may come out eventually) and c) I've been in this situation (with orange face from unblended and too-dark makeup and bad clothing choices) before and know the humiliation and frustration at not getting it right. I really do hope I got Milly right and that you enjoyed my take on her and the other Slytherin girls (I imagined Pansy as being a sort of Regina George- Mean Girls, type leader of the group). Also, apologies about the makeup descriptions. This is more suitable for those who know their beauty products and routines, and in the event you don't, basically: foundation should match your skin tone exactly (not too light or dark), primer helps it stay on [edit: mention now cut out of fic for word count], and bikini waxes... well, never mind._**

 ** _As always, any reviews/ feedback would be appreciated before I submit this. I'd especially love any suggestions as to where I should cut around 30 words from above to hit the word count requirements... But, nevertheless, thank you for taking the time to read this review or not! :) -Tigress x_**

 ** _Prompts:_**

 ** _Song: 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart' Elton John and Kiki Dee_**

 ** _Line: 'I couldn't if I tried'_**

 ** _Chaser prompts: (underlined for convenience)_**

 ** _(word) blink_**

 ** _(word) announcement_**

 ** _(word) determined_**


End file.
